Bella's confessions
by crazycatlady2909
Summary: After a holiday away from Edward, he can't wait to see his love again


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned, all characters belong to Stephanie Meyer ( I love you(: ), this is completely fictional so don't sue please (: . Read an review please

I wrote this for my friend Julie, she's team Jacob (boooo :( )

I was pacing, panicking. Was everything perfect? Where the petals too much, too cheesy? Would she like it? I was beyond nervous. Nothing meant as much to me in this world as Bella did. I loved her with all my entity. And after two weeks separated I crave her, I long to have her back in my arms. Three weeks before the wedding Bella wanted to reconcile things with her mother, which I can understand. She thought it would be better if she took Charlie rather than me seeing how as Renee blames me for forcing this upon her. Funny how Bella was always so worried that my family would hate her, in turn, it's the other way round, even Rosalie has started taking a liking to her after she announced Rosalie could wear her revealing pink bridesmaids dress much to Alice's annoyance. I never thought Bella would get over her abandonment issues, not after what I put her through, but then she decided she would use the rest of her college fund, much to my distaste and Charlie's fury, to fly to Renee and talk it over. She was only supposed to go for one week but Renee had missed her so much that she had wanted her to stay an extra week. This of course sent Alice into a panic as she had only managed to get Bella to decide half of the arrangements, not like Alice was listening to a word Bella said anyway but, it still sent her down a spiralling path way of terror. Bella was due to be dropped off at my house at exactly 6.01, it was 5.56. These agonising minutes seem to never end but finally I heard her noisy truck pull into the drive way. I could hear Emmett's booming laughter as he realised his favourite guest would be visiting. Emmett loved to embarrass Bella at every opportunity and at the moment all his snide remarks were directed at how we planned to consummate our marriage. Just before I heard her stumble into the room I heard Emmett shouting something crude. And then the door opened, my personal angel stood there, a light blush on her cheeks, smiling. I ran to her, at my abnormal speed and startled her. "how was Florida?"

"Fine." She replied, coolly. She was staring into my eyes, a deep honey colour.

"I've never seen your eyes so bright, were you really that bored?"

"Without you, I thought I was going insane, 24 hours a day, just thinking about how much I missed your smile and the way your cheeks redden when I compliment you."

She blushed and I gently stroked her cheek.

"I don't deserve you."

She said under her breath and expected me not to hear. I scowled at her. I was constantly reminding her how much I cared for her and how empty my life was without her. This distance reinforced that idea. But instead of making an issue of it I wrapped both my arms around her and lead her to bed. She glanced round her at our room. She noticed my hard work and a tear escaped her eyes.

"I really don't deserve you, or any of this."

Again I scowled and pulled her closer to me but she pushed away from my grip. I instantly let her go staring at her confused.

"Edward, we need to talk."

I didn't need to be able to read her mind to tell me that was bad. Suddenly I heard a distraught noise from the other room but I didn't investigate.

"oh god, I really love you Edward, I really do."

Her voice cracked a few times during. I watched her attentively, the way she fiddled with her top, playing with her hands. I clasped my hands over hers to stop the distraction. When she looked up at me there were tears in her eyes.

"Edward, I love him so much, I, I, can't be away from him anymore, I love you so much, but I love him as well, and he needs me, he needs me to be more than just friends."

She was sobbing as she said this. My expression hadn't changed once during her confession but inside I felt like I was dying. I wanted the Voulturi to take me now, for the searing pain in my abdomen to cease.

"Edward, please say something."

"If that's what you want, I won't stop you."

Every word was a contradiction. I didn't want her to be stolen from me by some dim witted _dog. _But I knew eventually, someday, she's realise I wasn't going to be able to give her what she wanted. She wanted humanity. After so much terror and blood, she just wanted normality something I could never give her. I was foolish to drag this out so long, to actually let myself think that she would marry me, that she'd be willing to sacrifice everything for me.

"Stupid masochistic lion."

I thought. I smiled at her to make her feel less guilty but it was false. The sides of my lips twitched slightly, it was then I knew I'd never smile again.

"Edward..i love..."

I raised a hand to stop her; it would be too painful for both of us if we had to listen to the end of that sentence. She had chose who she wanted to love, the pain of knowing she felt for me what she felt for him, the pain of knowing it was me who brought them together and the pain of knowing that she would be the only one I every loved.

"Bella, it's whatever makes you happy, and if Jacob makes you happy then I'm fine with that, you deserve a human life, a life were your not constantly in danger, a life were you can grow old with the one you love and have children, and grand-children."

I could feel my composure slipping. My eyes stung although tears could never fall.

"Edward...i'm so sorry."

Realisation dawned on me.

"You weren't in Florida the second week were you?"

A sound escaped her.

"you were with...him"

She had finally out grew me. Finally found love somewhere else.

"Edward he needs me..."

"I need you!"

"It's not the same, he has no choice but to love me, I need to get back, Charlie will be wanting to talk to me, he's over the moon if you can't guess."

With that a sad sigh escaped from her lips. She turned and walked out of the house I once called ours and walked out of my life, not worth living anymore. I glanced up and saw a figure at the door.

"Edward I'm so sorry, I only saw what she was going to do after she entered your room, I would've gave you some warning if I could've."

I smiled a fake smile

"It's fine Alice, I'm fine."

She turned and left me to wallow in my own misery.

The next morning I left, headed to Antarctica to escape everything. I sat staring at the snow finally feeling numb waiting until something made sense, until life had meaning again.


End file.
